Left Behind
by RedEyedSurprise
Summary: Fem!Harry/Sirius. SLIGHT Fem!Harry/Remus(one sided). Official sequel of Please Don't Crucio Me, James.- Everything has gone down hill. A new school year has started, her relationship with Sirius broken off, but not by her choice. Now Holly has no choice but to move forward with her life. Will she continue to pursue Sirius or leave that forbidden love behind her
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Any character, location or magical vocabulary recognized from the Harry Potterverse the author does not own. It is all owned by the lovely Mrs. J. K. Rowling. The author is not receiving any sort of payment for this work.

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Prologue

* * *

She should have seen this coming.

As the weeks progressed and the new school year came closer and closer to commencement Holly could feel him drawing away from her. Keeping their relationship a secret had been surprisingly easy. Grimmauld Place was a large home. Large enough that one could hide a relationship right under the noses of the other occupants, specifically one Mrs. Weasley. The person they found that was so much harder to fool had been Lupin. Holly should have known that even a simple cleansing or refresher charm was not enough to fool him.

The way that he eyeballed them, looked at her with a disappointed expression had almost been too much. No, it had not made her ashamed, it had made her angry. Who was he to be disappointed in her? He was her Third Year professor! Yes, be had been best friends with her father once upon a time, but that was the extent of their relationship. He had not been involved in her horribly scarring childhood with the Dursleys. He had not stayed in touch after he had quit the position either. At least dear Sirius had an excuse of Azkaban!

Lupin was the last person she would allow to pass judgement on her decisions. She was a seventeen year old, headstrong girl. No one told her what to do, bloody hell, not even Dumbledore could make her do something she did not want to do. The stubbornness, Minerva McGonagall said, she had gotten from her mother. It was the same stubbornness that had kept her mother from dating her father so early on in her school years. Her best friends, Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger were supportive in her decisions. Well, as supportive as they could be in secret. At the beginning they were very conflicted with her decision. Well, Hermione had been conflicted while Ginny had been all for Holly doing exactly as she pleased. Hermione had been concerned about her reputation, about her feelings with being with an older man.

"It's love, Hermione," Ginny said with exasperation.

Thinking back on this conversation years later had made Holly realise how naive she and her two best friends had really been with many aspects of real life. But once again, who was anyone currently in her life, more qualified than herself, to have any idea on the longevity- the pureness of her love for Sirius Black? The answer is still the same as it is presently. No one but herself. Once again there was no conceivable way she would allow anyone to pass judgement on her relationships, her feelings, on anything let alone her love life.

"Sirius and Holly love each other."

"I'm not doubting Holly's feelings for him!" Hermione had defended. "But I will not deny doubting his."

Holly had been confused. Doubt Sirius' feelings for her? She? Never!

"What do mean?" Holly had asked, quite confused.

"Well, he's an older man, isn't he? Older and younger men think differently, I've come to realise. You are a younger women and he is an older man. His interpretation of this relationship may be different then your own. His feelings for you may be different then your own.."

Both Ginny and Holly looked to each other before bursting into laughter. Hermione looked on with a pinched expression. Her worry was evident in her brown eyes.

"Hermione," Holly had grinned. "I appreciate the concern for my feelings. But I think I know how Sirius feels about me."

Hermione bit on the side of her lip. "I just.. Don't want you to get your feelings hurt."

"Don't worry so much," Holly said. She smiled softly at her friend who returned it reluctantly.

"I'm not going to get hurt, Mione. The only thing, the only person, who can really hurt me is Sirius. And believe me, he would never do anything to hurt me."

How horribly wrong she was.

* * *

Author's note: Finally I'm back with this story. I'm not going to lie. I had every intention in leaving this story where it was and just moving on to other projects. I had lost all my muses for this story and had gained like a million in different other projects. And real life also got me caught up. But I recently decided to go thru all my uncompleted works to see if there were any "sparks". And there were, but only for the character of Holly Lily Potter, the story..heh not so much. This time around there is going to be a general plot instead of just porn with plot. Don't get me wrong, I may decide to put in a sex scene or two. That's a big MAY but I really do want to focus on the quality of the story I'm trying to weave out for my Fem!Harry. The updates will be slow, but please bear with me while I work on this plot. I'm going to be working on her relationships, feelings, her past and how her past influences those feelings and her overall decisions when life, especially a scandalous one, decides to take her for a spin. This is going to be a bumpy ride, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. And of course, general comments on how this plot is coming along really is appreciated-Julie.


	2. Chapter One: Betrayal

Disclaimer: Any character, site or magical vocabulary recognized from the Harry Potterverse the author does not own. It is all owned by the lovely Mrs. J. K. Rowling. The author is not receiving any sort of payment for this work.

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Chapter One

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There was something to be said about a secret love. The excitement, the passion they put into their short trysts were something that made her heart beat a little faster. And that was just by thinking about it. The possibility that they might be discovered by anyone staying in Grimmauld Place certainly added to the excitement.

Then again, could they really be called secret lovers if there were more people than just themselves who knew about the relationship? There were Hermione and Ginny, both of whom covered for her when she disappeared from the general familial gatherings.

And then there was George, Ginny's older brother. She had been quite mortified when George had walked into her room one night unannounced. Her knees had been over Sirius' shoulders, his trousers bunched at the ankles. She had immediately covered her bare chest and they had both froze as if they had been petrified.

George had frozen too, his eyes wide and disbelieving at the scene sprawled out on the bed before him. And then his surprised looked had vanished. It was replaced with the mischievous look that no one had seen on his face since before his twin brother Fred had been killed.

"Well," he let out, his grin reminiscent of the muggle Christmas toon, the Grinch. "Carry on then. And don't forget the bloody locking and silencing charms. Thought you were both being murdered in here for Merlin's sake."

He had then closed the door, locking it behind him. Sirius and Holly had looked at each other and began laughing at the hilarity of the situation, the adrenaline of their love-making and being discovered so suddenly pumping thru their veins. Banging on the door startled them and George's voice had spoken through the wood.

"I thought I said not to forget about the silencing charms!"

His demeanor, reminiscent of the days before his twin brother's death, was enough for Holly to forgive him the interruption into her room. George Weasley had not been the same since his twin brother's death during the last battle at Hogwarts. There had been a critical moment that the Weasley family had feared he would commit suicide in grief. With the constant care and supervision from his family and friends, George seemed to have abandoned his dark thoughts. Holly understood though. This had been his brother, after all. And Fred had also been their son and brother. With their constant presence they wanted to assure the young man who Fred would never want his beloved brother to harm himself.

"A thought just came to me," Holly whispered in the dark.

They were both naked under the thin sheets. Even with a cooling charms, the night was a hot one. Their enthusiastic love-making had not helped the temperature of the room either. Her cheek was laid against his shoulder as Sirius breathed deeply to catch his breath.

"There are too many people who know about us," Holly said wryly. "Too many."

Sirius chuckled. "Quite right. I've said it before and I'll say it again. _Ginny_ is too many. Hermione is fine, she has a level and intelligent head on her, but Ginny-"

"There is nothing wrong with Ginny," Holly countered with a laugh.

"She's a girl," Sirius said dryly.

"And what do you take me for, sir?"

"A mature, of age, woman," Sirius retorted, sounding quite serious. "You and Hermione both. Ginny on the other hand is still a girl.

"Now don't get me wrong," he interrupted before she could speak out on Ginny's behalf again. "I know for a fact that for some people their age does not decide their maturity. But Ginny is not one of those people, love. She is a little girl whom I doubt very much to keep a secret of this size. A secret of any magnitude, really.."

Holly sighed. "I understand what you are saying..if it makes you feel better, I'll have a talk to her about discretion."

"Thank you," Sirius answered. "..And I'm sorry for getting a tad excited there in the conversation."

"No, it's fine. I understand that your concerned about us. So am I..Remus is supposed to be back tomorrow."

Her lover was quiet. She could feel his fingers gliding down her naked back until his hand came to rest on her hip. Holly knew for a fact that he had also had Remus Lupin on his mind. Remus Lupin, best friend of Sirius Black and a lycanthrope since a young age. Keeping a secret from a werewolf was going to be quite difficult.

* * *

It felt as if she had just fallen to sleep when Sirius had woken her at 6:30AM. It was a nightly ritual. They would wake before Mrs. Weasley, Holly would shower and sneak back to her room before the Weasley matriarch would knock and enter her bedroom at 7AM sharp for breakfast.

Holly went to her room in her bath towel, her hair was still soaking. She was running a little late. She shut her door behind her with a quiet snap and immediately rushed to her bathroom just as Mrs. Weasley knocked on her bedroom door and entered.

"Breakfast is ready, dear," Mrs. Weasley said quietly, a small smile on her face.

Holly stuck her head out of the bathroom door and returned that smile. "Thanks, Mrs. Weasley...Er, do you think you can take my skirt out of the closet for me? And a matching blouse."

Molly Weasley's smile brightened just a bit more and Holly was glad it did. Molly's demeanor had been quite subdued since the death of her son Fred, everyone's demeanor really. It had been months, but the pain of losing a brother figure had been like no other to Holly. She did not even want to imagine how painful it must be for the Weasley family since Fred had been their real flesh and blood.

"It would be my pleasure," Mrs. Weasley said as she opened her closet. "Ginny no longer allows me to help with her clothing. My, the last time I helped her dress was when she was around eleven years. And now she is sixteen. She is going to be seventeen in just a couple of short months. And you and Hermione and Ron are seventeen going on eighteen..Where does the time fly to?"

The clothes were passed to Holly through the open door. Mrs. Weasley turned away as Holly quickly dressed. She walked out of the bathroom, face freshly scrubbed and a healthy pink.

"I don't mind the help, really," Holly said as she brought out her dirty clothing. "I've never had anyone who cared enough to help me with my clothes before. My aunt was, well, uninterested with me..And of course you know about my parentless situation."

Mrs. Weasley nodded sympathetically, but she also looked a little confused.

"I will never be able to understand why your aunt would act that way," Mrs. Weasley looked sad once again and Holly regretted ever bringing Petunia Dursley's name into the conversation.

"Jealousy, is how I've come to understand it," Holly answered quietly.

Holly began to braid her hair slowly as she told the tale of two flower sisters from Surrey. One red-haired and the older one blonde. One magical and the other muggle. By the time her tale ended her hair was perfect. She had braided it down to her waist and tied it tightly with a bottle green leather hair tie that matched the color of her skirt.

"Those poor girls," Mrs. Weasley sniffed. "And Severus. Oh my, poor Severus Snape."

Holly nodded. "He had been in love with my mother since the moment he met her. And until the day he died. It was one of the reasons why he hated my father and by extension, I suppose, disliked me.

"My father, he had bullied Snape during all seven years of his schooling. When he married my mother that was just more incentive to hate James. And the Lily became pregnant with me. Once I was born I suppose I was just another person who had more claim on Lily then he did. Another Potter."

A soft and gentle hand reached forward and wiped away tears that Holly had no idea had fallen. Mrs. Weasley pressed a kiss to her forward.

"I wish things would have been different," Holly whispered, trying to control the emotion in her voice.

"We all do, dear. But there is nothing we can do about the past anymore. We can only move forward."

Wiping her face with her apron, Mrs. Weasley smoothed it back in place and rose from her seat on Holly's bed. She ushered the young woman out of the door and down to the kitchen.

"Let's get down before the men eat everything in sight."

Most of the house hold was in the kitchen now. Including, to Holly's immense suprise, Remus Lupin, whom looked up at their entrance and smiled jovially. Holly sat down beside hesitantly and accepted the clean plate he offered.

"It's nice to see you again, Remus," Holly said quietly.

"Likewise, Holly," Remus had replied. "How have you been?"

"The same since the last you saw me," she had answered, "Looking forward to finishing up my seventh year by the Christmas Holidays. And then beginning my healing internship in January."

His amber-colored eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "By Christmas?!"

Hermione, whom had sat across from them leaned forward with an enthusiastic nod. Her chocolate-colored eyes brightened at the thought of discussing the curriculum she and Holly had taken.

"Has no one told you?" Hermione interjected, excited at the prospect of talking about their education. "Holly and I had begun our seventh year studies by owl at the beginning of the Summer! We only have about half a semester to carry out and then we just have to test out of the exams!"

"Really?" Remus asked, looking utterly fascinated and even a bit proud. "I had no idea the professors of Hogwarts offered studies by owl now."

"The exception was made for those who had missed last year and would like to complete for their full Hogwarts diploma," Hermione said, though she suddenly looked put out. "Unfortunately, there were only around fifty who elected to finish their last year. Everyone else went into internships that did not need the clocked hours of advanced classes or they went into the workforce."

Holly rolled her eyes in good nature and explained to Remus from the, "Hermione is just a might put out that there are only about nine people out of Gryffindor who actually cared about getting their Hogwarts school diploma."

"I see. Well, good on you both," Remus said while shoveling more food to his plate. "I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say we are very proud of you."

"Here, here!"

George shouted out to the occupants of the kitchen. Arthur toasted from the head of the table with a full glass of pumpkin juice. Remus reached an arm around Holly and gave her a one-armed hug. Holly returned the hug with a soft smile, placing her head on shoulder momentarily before moving away.

Suddenly, Remus stiffened and tightened his hold on her. She had no choice but to press back into his side again. Then, just as suddenly as he had tightened his hold on her, he let her go. His smile turned tight and his eyes turned a dark amber.

"That's an interesting scent you're wearing," Remus bit out. "I almost didn't smell it. But it's there. Just there under your soap. It's familiar. A very expensive men's cologne."

Holly froze. From the corner of her eye, she saw Hermione freeze and Ginny on the other side of Remus leaned forward to look the man in the face with wide eyes.

"It might be Sirius' cologne," Ginny said with a widening smile.

The blood completely drained from her face and she supposed she must have looked like a Hogwarts ghost. Her eyes drifted to the other occupants of the breakfast table and she was relieved to find that their conversation had not caught anyone's attention.

"Yes," Holly breathed out. She was suddenly feeling short of breath. "Sirius' cologne, no doubt be-because we spend so much time together."

Ginny leaned back in her chair and threw her head back, letting out a cackle.

"That is so funny!" Ginny laughed out.

The bookworm of the trio of friends gaped at the younger of the three in offended disbelief at her action. Hermione turned to eyeball Remus, whom looked none too happy. In fact the man looked quite murderous, his amber eyes darkening further.

"Ginny?" Holly suddenly breathed out. "Can I have a word, please?"

Ginny stopped laughing and turned to look to Holly with a bright smile. Her bright smile disappeared at the sight of Holly's expression. The pale, ghost like face of shock was gone and in its place was thunderous anger. Never before had anyone seen such a look on the girl's face.

Ginny nodded with wide eyes. "S-sure."

They both rose from their seats at the breakfast table and walked toward the door. As they went through the entrance/exit for the kitchen Holly began walking upstairs. On the way up they passed a pleasantly surprised looking Sirius who gave a brief kiss to the corner of Holly's mouth.

"Remus is here," Holly said quickly, before she went passed him to her floor.

Sirius nodded quickly before looking to Ginny.

"Good morning, Ginevra."

"Heh, morning Sirius."

Holly went quickly to her door and allowed Ginny to enter before her, then quickly closed it. With a swish of her arm, the wand that was strapped to her right arm let out a couple of silver sparks to announce the commencement of a silencing charm on the bedroom.

_"What the bloody fuck is the matter with you, Ginny?!"_

"What did I do?!" Ginny asked with bewildered panic flashing in her eyes.

"What did you _do_?!" Holly repeated in disbelief. "How can you not know what you did, Ginny? You basically outed my relationship with Sirius through your disgusting, and quite frankly disrespectful, comments!"

"I was only joking, Holly!"

"Why?!" Holly asked. "Why would you joke about my relationship like that?! You knew we wanted to keep it a secret, I told you that! Why would you joke that way in front of the household?! IN FRONT OF REMUS?!"

"_Shut it_!" Ginny suddenly shouted, her face turning red. "Just shut up about it already! I only made a simple joking comment about your _stupid_ relationship! I didn't bloody out you both to the world! And what the hell are you mad about anyway?! Everyone was bound to find out anyway!"

Holly shook her head, still in disbelief at the way that one of her best friends was acting. Their argument had gotten so heated they had begun shouting at each other. Holly chose then to stop the argument, because she knew that in the end they would end up dueling in her bedroom and that would no doubt cause a ruckus in the household, which would lead to the truth of the matter. Her taboo romantic relationship with her godfather, Sirius.

Oh Merlin, Sirius! She should have listened to him in the first place. He had been right this whole time about Ginny Weasley.

"Get out," Holly suddenly spat out. "Get the fuck out of my room.."

"Oh, bloody bite me," Ginny made a face and rolled her eyes. "Owl me when you get the wand out of your arse."

Growling in anger, Holly retorted hotly. "I won't owl you anything, Ginny Weasley. And I had better not hear anything from you either. I don't ever want to speak to you again. Not until you understand that what you did down in the kitchen had been an evil sort of betrayal that no best friend would ever do. Not until you apologise."

"Not bloody likely, you bitch," Ginny spat.

As Ginny wrenched the door open in hostility, they could both feel the silencing charm break and dissipate away. Holly suddenly grabbed a hold of the door.

"If I get any kind of whisper that you have talked about my relationship again.." Holly warned. "I swear to you there will be dire consequences."

Ginny stood tall and looked Holly in the eye with an eyebrow raised in challenge. "Really now?"

"Oh yes," Holly answered. "Otherwise, everyone will know about a certain pregnancy scare that happened at the beginning of the Summer Holidays."

Ginny sucked in a breath, her ears burning red with what Holly could only speculate was a mixture of mortification and anger. The red-haired teen swiftly exited the bedroom in a hurry, slamming the door behind her on her way out.

As quickly as the door slammed, Holly locked it. She backed away from the door until the back of her knees hit the bed and she fell back on her bottom on the soft mattress. She placed her head in her hands and cried for the best friend she lost.

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Author's note: I'm a little above schedule with my posts which is good. A big thank you to everyone that reviewed, favorited and alerted for not just "Left Behind" but also for the old version called "Please Don't Hex Me, Remus!".


	3. Chapter Two: Break Up

Author's Note: Thank you once again to all the people who favorites, followed, and reviewed. To the Guest who has reviewed. I do apologise for not answering back to your reviews! I had actually just realised that I had not answered to any of the reviews. Thank you all , you are just gonna have to continue reading to find out more on how exactly they break up. This chapter will answer some of your questions. Ok, readers, in this chapter Ginny bashing, Remus bashing. There will be some changes that I had wanted to make to the overall story that may not match up with "Please Don't Crucio Me, James!"

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Chapter Two

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Friends. Without her very best friends at her side, Holly really didn't think she would have made it past the age of seventeen. She had never really thought she would ever have friends, either. From the age of four to ten her cousin Dudley had bullied away anyone who even tried to talk to her, the freak.

Imagine her surprise that her very first friend would be a half giant named Hagrid. A half giant! And then she had made a second friend. Her name had been Ginny Weasley. Ginevra was her first name, but you would soon be feeling the wrath of her bat bogey hex if you dared used it.

Hagrid had shown her the way to King 's Cross station and left her on her own. She had led herself nearly to tears searching for a platform labeled Nine and Three Quarters that did not exist to the muggle eye, when a gentle hand tapped her arm. A girl just a couple of inches shorter than herself, with the brightest of ginger hair Holly had ever seen, was smiling kindly to her.

"Hi, I'm Ginny. Do you need help getting on the train to Hogwarts?"

Holly nodded and then smiled back. "Yes, please. My name is Holly. Holly Potter, it's nice to meet you, Ginny."

"Holly?"

She raised her head from her hands and looked up as Hermione rushed in and closed the door behind herself. Her brown hair, which had previously been in a sleek bun at the breakfast table, was now looking frizzy. Now there were curls escaping and blocking her eyes.

"What happened?" Hermione asked, she sounded a bit winded. "You and Ginny left and didn't come back!"

Hermione sat down on the bed as Holly explained what had taken place in her bedroom between Ginny and herself. Her chocolate-brown eyes became larger when Holly explained how to it escalated to the dissolution of her friendship with the red-haired girl.

"I can't believe that she would act this way, though," Holly wiped away a tear with the back of her hand. "She's never acted that way before!"

"Well," Hermione shrugged her shoulder. "Yeah, she has."

Holly picked up her head and looked to Hermione in astonishment. "What? B-but I've never seen this behaviour from her before and we've been friends since I was eleven and she was ten!"

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen before!" Hermione retorted. "Don't you remember all those times when she would hint at something her brothers were not supposed to be doing to the professors or her parents? This is exactly the same thing, Holly.

"She was hinting to those around us about your relationship with Sirius, in exactly the same way," Hermione explained on. "Whenever she would do it to her brothers I always got the inkling that it was out of pure amusement.."

"So what?" Holly asked in outrage, her emerald eyes glinting with anger in the morning sunlight that poured in from a small window by her bed. "She was being deliberately malicious because she wanted to squeal about what Sirius and I are doing?!"

Hermione cringed. "Er, maybe more like she was being deliberately malicious for her own amusement..? I mean, the way she was laughing while she was saying those things-"

"That bloody tart," Holly swore angrily. "That cow...That bloody tart-y cow. I never knew she was such a..a.."

"Bitch?" Hermione asked, quietly.

Holly turned to look at Hermione. "Yeah."

The raven-haired girl crossed her arms over her chest before looking to Hermione.

"Out with it."

Hermione looked confused. "What?"

"You know much more about this _Ginny_ situation, don't you," Holly questioned, her eyes narrowing. "You sound less surprised than what I was expecting."

The bushy-haired girl sighed and nodded. Hermione moved until she sat down on the bed and leaned back against the headboard. she had slipped off her shoes and got comfortable before taking a deep breath. "What was I supposed to do?..You know my whole story before Hogwarts, Holly. You were my first friend, ever! I didn't have friends before Hogwarts because I was so nerdy and bossy.."

"Oh Hermione," Holly sighed.

"But you were Ginny's friend before you were mine," Hermione continued on, her voice wavering. "She was always more your friend than mine..How was I supposed to bring up the fact that _to me_ she was always such a -a.."

"Bitch?" Holly offered with a smile.

"Yes," Hermione gave her a watery smile. "Your first best friend in Hogwarts was always such a bitch to me. First it started with me being a "bookworm" and always wanting to go to the library to study. As we got older, it turned to my muggle clothes, my hair, my teeth..And she was alway so hostile. Especially when I held your attention for any reason. She would get this heated look in her eye.."

Hermione stopped talking long enough to fish a tissue out of her pocket. She blew her nose noisily. Holly moved over to Hermione's side and sat beside her, her back leaning against the head-board.

"I'm sorry I never noticed," Holly whispered.

"I'm sorry I never spoke a word about it," Hermione said, her voice breaking. "I didn't want to lose my only friend in the world."

"I promise, I will never let another person bully you again, Hermione."

Holly reached over and wrapped her arms around Hermione, content that she at least had one friend. And this friend needed Holly just as much as Holly needed her.

* * *

**Sirius**

The morning came much too soon for him. He would have liked to have lain in bed just a bit longer. To watch his young lover sleep on her side, facing him. Her raven hair was loose and wild on her pillow, and her mouth opened slightly as she softly breathed.

Damn Molly Weasley and her prompt morning schedule. Then again, if not for her prompt schedule he and Holly would have to live in constant fear of being found out. Not as if their relationship was anything to be ashamed of. He and Holly had spoken at length on the topic.

This relationship was their own and they wanted to keep it that way until she finished her schooling. Now a celebrity because of her defeat of Lord Voldemort, she was constantly hounded by reporters of the Rita Skeeter breed. And not just British reporters, there were American, French, Spanish, Japanese- the list went on! Everyone wanted to know what the savior was doing and when, what she was eating and where, what she was wearing and who.

Behind closed doors in Grimmauld, they were safe from the flashing bulbs and inquiring minds of the nosy public. Well, _slightly_, because there was still the inquiring minds of the nosy people who lived _in_ his childhood home. Not that he could resent them for staying because he did offer it to them. They were planning to leave as soon as the rebuilding of the Burrow was over.

He wished it was before the Hogwarts school year commenced tomorrow morning, but knew it would be at least another week. Oh well, those dirty little plans he and Holly had made to make love in every room of Grimmauld would have to be put on temporary hiatus.

"Love," Sirius whispered as he scooted closer to Holly. He kissed her ear and gently moved the hair out of her face. "It's time to wake up."

Holly wrinkled her nose and breathed in deeply. "No. Tell Mrs. Weasley to take a day off and go back to sleep."

He let out a bark of laughter that echoed off the walls of his childhood room. "I don't think we would be able to convince her. Besides, the household would starve without the woman. No one else can cook."

"I can cook for you, " Holly grumbled.

"Yes," Sirius grinned, "But would you like to get up now and begin breakfast for us at around shit o'clock in the morning?"

"Fuck that," Holly retorted.

Sirius laughed again. He watched as she sluggishly pulled herself out of his bed, naked as the day she born. He cringed at that thought, as he was actually present at her birth and put it far away from his thoughts as he too pulled himself out of the bed and followed her to his bathroom.

Holly had begun the shower and was slipping behind the curtain. He joined her a moment later after savoring the sight of the hot water cascading over her naked skin. Her pink nipples pebbled at the change of temperature. He could see the muscles of her toned tummy and thighs contract, shivering at the wonderful feel of the hot water. He couldn't help running soapy hands over the perfection that was so blatantly presented before him.

Sirius grabbed her wrists and guided her hands to rest on the tiled wall. He nudged a knee between her legs and entered her swiftly.

Their love-making was hard, jarring her body so much she nearly slipped a handful of times. Sirius pushed her suddenly into the cool tiled wall until she was flush against it. He then pushed his body flush against her back, never breaking the intimate connection they shared and began to rut into her with growling grunts.

"Oh," Holly said faintly after they had come down from their mutual orgasm. "You are wonderful. I'll just go back to bed now, thanks."

"No!" Sirius laughed. "You need to get your gorgeous self back to your own room before Mrs. Weasley gets there."

"Damn it, " Holly swore.

He helped her search for a towel and watched as she left quickly, her hair still dripping wet. Sirius followed her to the door and with a quick flick of his wand, cleaned the water she left in her wake to the way to her bedroom. He closed his bedroom door as soon as he heard the soft footsteps of Mrs. Weasley climbing the stairs.

Sirius went about the motions of cleaning his room of any evidence of Holly. If he knew Molly Weasley, and he did, no doubt she would be in his room at a convenient time he was not in his room, to collect his laundry and do her own version of cleaning. He put a little extra "umph" into his refreshing charms to clear the air.

The reason? Remus was coming back. He was coming back from following up with a multitude of werewolf pack leaders that were spread out through Europe and Wales. Mostly just friendly greetings to old friends. Sirius doubted Remus would want to join a pack. He was natural-born alpha male, no matter how he liked to portray his human demeanor to friends and family as calm and subdued. His senses were so heightened that Remus would be able to tell what exactly you had eaten a week earlier, no matter if Sirius had already digested and had a bowel movement.

Around 45 minutes, after dressing and refreshing the room once more, Sirius left his room for breakfast. He hoped Ron was still sleeping. That boy could put away a whole hippogriff if his mother decided to cook one. Good thing Buckbeak had been returned to Hagrid, or he would have been in the Shepard's pie months ago.

Coming up the stairs was his beautiful raven-haired, emerald-eyed lover. She was wearing a skirt that ended just before hers the same color as her eyes. Her top was black and form-fitting, barely covering her midriff. Her hair was braided and resting over her right shoulder.

Sirius tried to press a heated, but brief kiss to her lips and missed, to his disappointment. His kiss landed on the corner of her mouth.

"Remus is here," she said with an expression on her face he could not place.

Sirius was not sure if she was angry or concerned. A couple of steps behind Holly was Ginny Weasley.

"Good morning, Ginny."

The girl glanced at him with a worried expression. "Heh, morning, Sirius."

He watched them go up the stairs, presumably to Holly's room. Just as he was about to make his way to the basement where the kitchen was located, a very angry-looking werewolf exited the kitchen and headed straight his way.

"Remus!"

What Sirius received in response was a fist to the face.

"What the fuck?!" Sirius hissed, holding his mouth.

Remus grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the nearest room. With a swish and flick of his wand the room was locked and the a privacy charm was enacted.

"That's a bloody wonderful way to greet a friend, you prick," Sirius groaned.

"You perverted bastard," Remus growled. "What the bleeding hell possessed you to do this?"

"Do what?" Sirius was so confused.

"Fuck your god-daughter?!"

The blood completely drained from Sirius face as he gaped. Remus let out a rough unamused laugh.

"That face," the amber-eyed man spat out. "It's the same face Holly wore when I questioned why your scent was all over her."

Moving his hand away from his split bottom lip, Sirius sighed. "You're making this sound more devious than what it really is.."

Remus scoffed. "And how can this not be devious, Padfoot?! This is your god-daughter! The little girl who you swore to our best friend and his wife you would look after like your own child if anything happened to them!"

"She is not a little girl," Sirius pointed out quietly.

"Your right on that," the lycanthrope rolled his eyes. "She's not a little girl, your right. But she is still a seventeen year old teenager. An _impressionable_ teenager! And you are a thirty-seven year old middle-aged man!"

"She's of age!" Sirius stressed. "It's not like what we're doing together is illegal! We love each other!"

The amber-eyed man let out a sarcastic laugh, throwing his head back.

"_Love_?! You both wouldn't know love if it bit you both on the arse," Remus spat out. "Holly has never experienced true love before. Those bastards she called relatives starved her of any form of affection and familial love from the first day she was dropped off in their care! I'm not surprised she latched on you when you came sniffing around.

"And you! Because of Azkaban your stunted at the mental age of twenty! And if I remember correctly, you always had a new flavor of the week back then. You would stick your dick into anything!"

"I'm not like that anymore!" Sirius shouted. "That person isn't me anymore!"

"Of course you're not," Remus retorted. "Azkaban made certain of that. You lost thirteen years of your life to that hell hole! And now you owe it to yourself to recover! We've had you sheltered for far too long. You need to get healthy, physically and mentally. You went straight into the Order mentality the moment you sprung yourself out of the joint!

"You owe it to yourself to recover," Remus repeated. "And Holly needs to recover to, doesn't she?"

Sirius stayed quiet as Remus spoke, his eyes looking suspiciously wet. He nodded, wincing at the twinge his split lip gave at the movement.

"After all she's done," Remus said softly in the silence of the room. "We owe it to her to allow her to live and experience the wonders of life. We owe it to her to discover what love really is."

"I-I can't," Sirius stuttered. He could feel himself being reeled in by Remus' persuasive words. He could feel himself giving up..letting her go. "I really do l-love her."

His friend stepped forward and placed both of his hands on Sirius' shoulders, squeezing them in support. "If you love her, you will give her this opportunity. And if this love is real, she will come back to you. Remember, she deserves to experience new things, interact with new people, make new friends."

Sirius nodded, a tear overflowing and slipping down his cheek. He allowed Remus to pull him into a hug and hold him tightly. Remus patted him on the back before letting him go.

"Good man. I should be off now."

"Where are off to now?" Sirius said with alarm, wiping at his eyes and his split lip. "You just got here!"

"Home," Remus said with a grimace. "I eh, got to get home to Teddy and er Tonks. But I'll be back tomorrow. Got to see the girls off bright and early for the train."

As soon as the door was opened the privacy charm deactivated. Remus walked out and closed the door behind him, leaving Sirius to his thoughts. Everything that Remus had said to him had been like a punch to face. Another punch to the face. But what he was saying was also true. Was it? He didn't know!

Sirius sat on drabby looking chair and fisted his hands in his hair. It was true. His mental growth had been stunted at the age of twenty. He did feel like a twenty year old man in an older body.

At that time of his life he was living off the substantial inheritance he had received from a favored Uncle, who had been as much of a Black sheep as Sirius had been. He had been verbally disowned by her parents, but never legally disowned, so rightfully the Black family responsibilities fell to him. He was now the head of the family as the only living male.

He would need to learn to balance his own finances and the finances of the Black family. He had hoped to grow and learn at the same pace as Holly, but Remus made him realise that probably was not best.

Holly was young, she had the time to take to learn her chosen profession. He was not. Everyone had been badgering her about joining the Auror program. The tabloids were counting down the days until she would be joining the Auror program this January first. But she wouldn't be. Holly wanted to be a healer. She had seen and done so much fighting in her life. She was through with fighting. She wanted to heal.

Four years of schooling was required to become a healer, followed by four years of internship. Was it right to hold her back? Holly was an incredibly smart and bright young woman. She could go to literally any school she wanted. She could intern at any magical hospital she wanted and did not have to limit herself to staying in the country just because he was here.

Holly could go places. Sirius could not. Sirius had a responsibility to the Black family name. Normally he would have said to fuck the Black family name, but then he would be forfeiting not only his money but the clout(1).

With the defeat of Voldemort there were many a crooked ministry member ousted out of their positions and at this moment there were more than a few that had been ousted from the Wizengamot. Sirius now held a seat, two in fact. The Black Family seat and the Potter Family seat, at least until Holly decided to take it back.

He had hoped to grow and learn with Holly at his side, helping and supporting him. But how could he ask her to be at his side when she had her dreams to follow? Would he be so selfish to believe that she would help him with his endeavors?

"No," Sirius answered his own questions.

He stood from the drabby looking chair and allowed his legs to guide him. He found himself walking to the top floor where his and Holly's bedrooms were located. He knocked as softly as he could. A small part of him wished that Holly was not in her room, but the door swung open a few moments later to reveal his beautiful lover's face. Hermione appeared behind Holly and side-stepped them to go downstairs.

"I'll leave you two alone then," she muttered loud enough for them to comprehend.

Sirius stepped slowly into the room until Holly had no choice but to back up. She turned and sat on the bed with a sigh as Sirius closed the door behind him. He leaned back against the door, his hand holding the knob. He wanted to bolt. He wanted to forget all about the conversation he had with Remus, but he knew the Remus himself would never allow him to forget it.

"What happened to your lip?" Holly asked in concern.

Sirius looked sheepish. "I walked into Moony's fist."

She snorted before they settled into a comfortable silence. It was silence to her, but Sirius could hear the loud" thump thump" of his heart beat and it was picking up speed. The silence lasted seconds.

"You were right about Ginny," Holly said softly.

He scoffed. "I told you so."

She glared. "How was I supposed to know? According to Hermione, she was like the good Dr. Jekyll and Mister Hyde. Nice to me and a bitch to everyone else..She practically outed us both out to Remus with the horrid way she was acting."

"That wouldn't have made any difference," he said. He gestured to his mouth, "He smelled me on you the moment you got near him."

Holly gasped and Sirius gave her a pointed look.

"He bloody dragged me into an empty room," Sirius said quietly. "And then Remus did what he does best."

"Which is?" Holly queried anxiously.

He shook his head. "Talk sense to make me see his version of reason..I-Merlin..Holly, I don't want you to be held back by me."

Holly's face went blank and she stood up in a flash. "What?"

"You have a promising career ahead of you," Sirius went on, his gaze on the hardwood floor. "I, however, am a middle-aged man who needs to get his shit together, apparently. Or at least that's the summary of what Remus said."

He ran a hand through his hair and cringed as Holly's blank face began to break. Her cheeks flushed a blotchy pink and her emerald-green eyes teared up.

"Are you..?" she bit her lip to hold in a gut wrenching sob. "A-are you breaking up with me?"

Sirius kicked the back of his bear foot against the door, a painful grimace on his face. "No!..I mean..Yes. I'm letting you go."

Her stomach muscles contracted in and she covered her mouth momentarily with her fist as the sudden feeling of nausea almost overwhelmed her. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to stay together. Forever, right? She would go on to be a renowned healer and he would just..do whatever it was he did in his spare time. But he would be here, waiting for her. He was always here, waiting for her. Why not this time?

"Why?" Holly asked, her anger beginning to take over her grief. "Why are doing this?! Did Remus tell you to break up with me?! He isn't your bloody mother, Sirius! How can you just let him do this? How can you just let him control you?!"

"Remus isn't controlling me!" Sirius retorted indignantly. "I'm doing this of my own free will! I'm doing this for your own good. He only made a couple of points that opened my eyes. You and I, we do love each other..But we both owe it to ourselves to grow. We need to grow up and experience life the way were supposed to.. I've missed thirteen years of my life and I need to take responsibility of the Black family investments and family members..

"You're going be neck-deep in your schooling for the foreseeable future. Between the two of us, there won't be time _for_ us. The logical step is to..to break up."

"Logical?!" Holly practically wailed. "How could doing this be logical?! Bollocks!"

Sirius forward, intent on wrapping arms around her as she cried. Holly pushed him away from her with an indignant grunt.

"Get off me, you prick!"

"Holly! Don't be like this please! We can still be together in the future."

Sirius suddenly looked taken aback by the thunderous look that transformed on her face. He had a feeling that he may have said something wrong.

"So you still plan to give me a little pickle-tickle?!" Holly asked through gritted teeth. "Every now and then? Is that how you think this will happen?!"

He blanched, speechless.

"Get out!" Holly Demanded. "Better yet, stay! I'll go!"

Sirius was pushed from the door he had been unconsciously blocking. He let out a loud yelp when his foot hit a wooden dresser. She slammed the door behind her with so much force the mirror over her dresser and the few floral paintings on the walls vibrated. He as left now in the silence of his now ex-lover's bedroom.

He did the right thing, right?

* * *

Author's Note: (1) The meaning of the word clout means two things in Texas (where I'm from). I'm a south Texas girl, an educated country bumpkin(lol). Clout can mean you have 'a political sense of power or political influence', or it can mean a physical hit. Example: "She clouted him with her fist!" I hear it used in so many other ways here, but in this chapter I am referring to political influence.. Ok, there you have it. Chapter Two done. It finally happened. Tell what you think.


	4. Chapter Three: Escape

Author's Note: Disclaimer is in the prologue. I hate repeating myself. Thank for the favorites, the follows and the reviews! And of course thank you to those who had read the story! Let start by saying that I have made an error in Holly's age! She has in fact turned the age of eighteen!

Sharnorasian Empire: Hello again, my friend! Yes, I broke them up, I don't regret it. Don't worry, eventually they will be together again. When that will be though... will have to stay a mystery! And the reason I ended "Don't Hex me Remus!" was because I didn't believe in the story plot anymore. The muse was still there but the muse had matured, if that makes sense(?). My muse wanted to go to a different direction with the story.

Padfootette, Nataly SkyPot, wingedangel791: Thank you very much for the reviews! Muchos Gracias(for Nataly SkyPot) I appreciate you all very much! I will try to update every couple of days, but I can't make any promises.

Robert77833: I'll correct my story summary because that little ship is basically going to be..accidental. And I plan on making it feel absolutely wrong for both! Just you wait and see!

apy: Well, Remus and Holly are going to be a unique thing. You' guys will understand soon.

* * *

Chapter Three

* * *

Once again, Holly was thankful to have friends. Hermione, in particular. As soon as she had fled from her bedroom the first place she went to was Hermione's bedroom. The girl had packed her school trunk by hand. She was an incredibly gifted witch in most subjects, but when it came to household charms Hermione was confused.

She had practically launched herself into her best friend's arms and began bawling in the same instant. It had not even entered afternoon tea and so many things had gone down that left her in a tizzy. Her friend ship had ended with Ginny, and now her romantic relationship was over as well.

Holly had told Hermione everything that had happened from the moment Hermione had left her bedroom. Hermione listened intently without speaking a word, nodded when appropriately and said "that prick" when it was appreciated. God bless Dr. and Dr. Granger for birthing this beautiful woman.

Hermione had went up to her bedroom and packed Holly's things away on her own. She had then levitated the trunk down one floor to her bedroom and brought it to Holly herself.

"You're an angel sent down by the Gods," Holly praised tearfully. "Thank you, really. The last thing I want to do is see Sirius. I may hex his bollock off."

"I understand," Hermione said quietly. "Though, you may want to re-organize your trunk again. I had to use a household charm and everything is all crammed in there. I still can't figure out how to organise everything so..it's just one big pile. Sorry."

Holly shook her head. "That's okay. I can fix it later."

Hermione nodded and bit her lip. "I have a suggestion."

She had summoned a chair and sat down hard. "I had thought this for a couple of hours now. Maybe we should leave early."

Holly blinked and then smiled. It looked as if all the drama of the world . "You mean, leave before tomorrow morning? That's brilliant. We can leave this afternoon. Merlin, when Mrs. Weasley finds out we're leaving early she'll have a dementer!"

Hermione smoothed out her mini skirt primly with a wry grin. "Who says we have to tell her?"

The green-eyed girl gasped in delight. "You smart little tart! Quick, help me organise my trunk!"

They both sprung into action immediately. The organization of Holly's trunk was done quickly. It was shrunk and shoved into her clutch. She shoved her bare feet into flats and waited for Hermione to finish shoving books into her moleskin purse.

"I do need them!" Hermione insisted. "I'm thinking we won't be back here for a good long time!"

By the time all their belongings were shrunken and stowed away in their pockets. They began to make their way downstairs. It was closing in on noon and the first person they had to run into was none other than Mrs. Weasley. The older woman had a content look upon her face as she levitated a laundry basket behind herself. Holly had instantly recognised the clothes belonging to Sirius.

"Hello, girls!" Mrs. Weasley greeted pleasantly, before she turned to Holly with a concerned look. "Holly dear, I was just in your room and there weren't a dirty clothing waiting for me by the door like usual."

Holly sighed. She had no problem with walking out of Grimmauld without meeting a single resident, otherwise she would not have been able to lie. Especially not to Mrs. Weasley. The woman who had shown more love to Holly every Christmas time with her hand knitted green sweaters then Petunia Dursley had ever done in Holly's whole life. Holly couldn't even count on both her hands and toes how many times she had wished that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had been her parents.

She opened her mouth to explain, but Mrs. Weasley lifted a hand to stop her. The older woman continued on.

"So, I decided to search for them. And to my surprise I discovered there was not a single piece of clothing left in your dresser or wardrobe. No underclothes, socks and most definitely no shoes. Your beauty products and feminine products were also gone!"

"Well," Holly said slowly. "I can explain that Mrs. Weasley.."

"You're leaving," Mrs. Weasley stated with a sad look.

Holly blinked. "Erm y-yes, Ma'am... Why don't you look more..Angrier?"

"Because, dear," Mrs. Weasley explained calmly. "No matter how much I wish, no matter how much I have mothered you this past eight years..I'm not your biological mother. And though I do count myself as your mother-figure, you are of age. If I wasn't able to stop F-Fred and George from dropping out of Hogwarts to pursue their joke shop, I most certainly would not be able to stop you."

Holly's eyes filled with tears. She quickly swiped them away before they could fall and took a deep breath. Why was she crying again?! This had to be the third time today and it wasn't even afternoon tea!

"I love you, Mrs. Weasley," Holly was able to choke out without falling into a sobbing mess, "very much so."

Reaching out a gentle hand, Mrs. Weasley carressed her face with the back of her hand.

"I love you, too. Now, off with you. Before I change my mind. And you better owl. Frequently."

* * *

With the hood of her cloak placed securely over her head, Holly closed the front door of Grimmauld Place behind her. Hermione had already been waiting outside, looking nervously up and down the street. Holly knew exactly how she felt.

Even if the war was over and all the Death Eaters had been caught and imprisoned, there was still a feeling of anxiety. Anxiety of the unknown. And the anxiety had only shifted from Death Eaters to reporters.

"I was expecting her to put up more of a fight," Holly said in a low voice.

"Good thing she didn't," Hermione smiled. "Otherwise Mrs. Weasley's voice would have broken the sound barrier and alert every reporter magical and muggle to our location."

Holly laughed. They both clasped hands and Hermione apparated them away. They both screamed in fright as they fell in the middle of a cobbled stone street of Hogsmeade, and then they promptly began laughing hysterically. Hermione's clumsy apparation had landed her forward on her hands and knees, while Holly had fallen back on her bottom.

"Well," a familiar voice spoke loudly. "Would you look what we have here."

They both looked up at the impeccably dressed young man. Draco Malfoy's hair was loose around his ears, his robes were a black and silver ensemble with his tie being a green so dark it was almost black. There was a smile on his lips, and his eyes looked a soft grey. Draco's features were relaxed, joking even.

"Draco!" Hermione squealed with delight.

The chocolate haired girl pulled herself up from the ground and threw herself into the young man's arms. He caught her in his strong embrace. Hermione had put her whole body into her actions and Draco was still able to keep his position.

"Hullo, Mine," Draco greeted with a heated kiss.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the pet name Draco had given her. Holly smiled slightly at their show of affection. She had really never taken Draco Malfoy as being one to initiate public displays of affection. There was never an instant when he had shown PDA with his ex girlfriend Pansy. Thank goodness, no one wanted to see that pug mauling a man in public.

Holly pushed herself off of the ground, gathered her clutch and Hermione's moleskin purse. She approached them as slowly with a smile.

"Potter," Draco greeted with a mocking tilt of his head.

"Draco," Holly greeted back with the same tilt of her head.

All three of them laughed before they allowed Hermione to lead them down the cobbled street. They were led into the crowded Three Broomsticks. As soon as they entered heads turned and mouths gaped. The usual roar of voices and laughing dimmed slightly. Holly tried to not make any eye contact with anyone. She followed behind Hermione as Draco paused to allow her to walk in the door before him.

"This is pleasantly awkward," Draco said with a unfaised tone.

"Shush," Hermione admonished him.

As soon as they were sat at a booth the roar of voices rose back up to its usual volume. Unfortunately the same could not be said for the staring and head turning. Holly hunched over on one side of the booth while Draco and Hermione sat across from her.

"You would think they had never seen a scar before," Holly muttered with a weary look in her eye.

Draco snorted. "It's not the scar they're staring at, Potter. They are all wondering how a slip of a girl could have been the down fall of the Dark Lord."

"Many thanks," Holly said dryly, but smiled slightly as Hermione giggled at their antics.

Their "friendship" had not changed much from their younger years. Yes, they were less likely to throw jinxes at each other and their insults had little to no bite, but every one of their conversations almost always ended it sneering (on Draco's part) sarcasm. It had only been with the help of Hermione that Holly and Draco had become tentative friends.

Not even Holly speaking on behalf of Draco's parents to the Wizengamot was enough to warm him to her. Holly honestly was unfazed by it. Her mentality was that she could live her life with or without the friendship of one Draco Malfoy, but because of her friendship to Draco's girlfriend she had vowed to at least give it a try. Needless to say, Hermione acted as a buffer most of the time.

A waitress finally came by their table to take their orders, her starstruck eyes stayed glued to Holly, even when Draco and Hermione ordered their lunch. After completing the order the woman scurried away presumably to the kitchens.

"The upside to all this attention surely has to be the service," Draco commented while digging into his lunch. "Quite the speedy service."

Holly grunted. "Probably so she can get back behind the bar with her mates to continue gossiping about who knows what.."

"Well," Hermione murmured into her butterbeer as she peered toward the bar. "Your right about that."

Draco and Holly turned and peered at their waitress. The waitress was surrounded by four other girls in the same grey waitress robes of The Three Broomsticks. They giggled together with wide eyes and pinked cheeks, listening on as their waitress twittered on about something or the other.

"A bet a galleon on _who_ the main topic of their conversation would be.."

Holly rolled her eyes before taking a bite of her corned beef sandwich. It was good, but not as good as Mrs. Weasley's homemade corned beef.

"That's not fair," Hermione remarked, her eyes returning to their lunch as well. "I mean, all three of us know _exactly_ who they're talking about. I mean, _come on_, Draco.."

"Fool's bet," Holly commented as she gave Draco the stink eye.

The blond-haired male chuckled and he laid his hand over Hermione's on the table. Holly glanced away from their show of affection, her chest twinging. The last thing she had wanted to see today was a happy couple when her own relationship had just ended. As soon as she looked away her eyes were drawn to another couple, their lips locked in a passionate kiss. And of course, just a couple of tables away was a couple with their arms wrapped around each other.

Holly looked back to her sandwich with a sigh. All the happy couples were going to give her a migraine. She couldn't help but think that those happy couples would have been her and Sirius in a few years. If he hadn't of ended the relationship. Her lower lip trembled and Holly could now feel the welling of tears in her eyes. How dare that man make her cry!

"That prick."

"Excuse me," Draco raised his eyebrow in her direction. "What did I do?"

"Not you," Holly grumbled, wiping at her burning eyes. "I just broke up with my boyfriend..Actually, he broke up with me."

"No!" Draco gasped. "The dunce broke up with _you_?!..Do you snore?"

"No!" Holly exclaimed as Hermione snickered at the comment. "That's not even funny.."

"I'm sorry," apologised Hermione as soon as she smothered her laugher.

She slapped Draco's arm. "No joking, love. This is a serious situation.."

"Really, Hermione?!" Holly exclaimed again. "A _serious_ situation?!"

Hermione gasped and covered her mouth in shock. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't even realise I said that!"

The Slytherin among them looked between them in confusion. "Okay, I'm lost. Someone explain this situation to me. Now. I demand to be privy to the inside jokes of this situation."

Holly sighed as Hermione looked at her in question. She then shrugged at her bookworm friend and then stood up from the booth. Hermione immediately leaned sideways into her boyfriend and began to whisper so softly that not even Holly could here.

"Going to the lavatory," she grumbled.

Holly refrained from stomping the way to the lavatory. The roar of voices once more dimmed and multiple eyes followed her to the bathroom. She pushed open the door and was surprised to find it somewhat deserted. There was one girl at the sink washing her hands, there was a sort of scarf wrapped around her neck and it was partly covering the lower portion of her face.

She smiled at the unknown girl slightly and then stood in front of a sink. She washed her face and used a simple drying charm on her face. The girl staring back at her in the mirror almost looked unrecognisable from this morning. Her braided, jet black hair was still immaculate, but her face seemed a little too pale. Her emerald-green eyes looked tired, compared to this morning's shining emerald jewels as Sirius made love to her in his shower.

Holly cringed. She most certainly did not feel up to thinking about her now ex-lover. She could feel herself bottling her emotions into a tight ball. Holly really could not understand why Sirius had allowed Remus of all people to talk him out of their relationship. As far as Holly knew, Remus and Tonk's relationship was not going as smoothly as possible. Apparently, even with a newborn child, Remus was still fighting the relationship.

The knuckles on both of her fists were turning white. Her fists were clenching so hard she could feel her nails digging into her flesh. Oh, how she would like to get her hands on that man and given him a piece of her mind. Remus would have no idea what would have hit him.

"Are you alright, Holly?" the unknown girl asked.

Holly blinked, her fists loosening. The girl's voice sounded very familiar, almost like...

"Lavender?"

The scarf was slowly lowered and the lower half of Lavender Brown's face appeared. The white scars on her once pretty face were noticeable without the cover of the scarf. They were a horrific reminder to what Fenrir Greyback had done to her. And a reminder to what the horrible werewolf would have done to her if he had not been killed by Bill Weasley. With the way the girl's clothing had been ripped from her body, there was no doubt about what horrors the monster had in mind.

"Are you alright?" Lavender asked again, her voice was soft and almost a whisper. "You seem upset."

"I am upset," Holly admitted. "But I'll be okay, maybe..How are you, Lav?"

Her former Gryffindor room-mate smiled slightly, the white scars stretching, making her smile seem uncomfortable. "Alright, considering..just getting ready for the school year. Ron and I are just getting some last minutes things for me."

Holly's eyes widened. "What? Ron is here?"

Lavender froze. "Er, yes. Is that going to be a problem? A-aren't you both like family?"

Holly nodded. "Yep, his mother and father have acted as my parents since I got that first Weasley sweater at Christmas..But, eh..Draco is here with Hermione, so there might be a bit of a problem."

Wrapping her scarf around her neck a few times, Lavender raised it over her head and partially masked her face. She rushed out of the restroom and Holly was right on her heels behind her. Holly sucked in a breath as they both witness Draco and Ron nose to nose. Both Lavender and Holly could practically see the flames of hatred in their eyes.

Hermione was trying with all her weak muscled might to squeeze between them and give them at least a couple of feet of distance, but they both held their ground. She might as well have tried to push between two statues, it was almost comical. Holly would have to speak to Draco about getting Hermione on a routine because no matter how much those humongous, brick sized books weighed they were obviously not doing anything for her muscle tone.

"Won Won!" Lavender squeaked, fearfully.

Holly and Hermione both fought off grimaces. Lavender and Ron had been together since their fifth year at Hogwarts, and the pet names had begun almost immediately. Out of respect for their fellow, female Gryffindor - they all strived to keep straight faces.

"We should go, Ron!" Lavender begged, "Please?"

The youngest Weasley male sighed and nodded, his hand held out for his girlfriend. "Come on, we'll go to the Hog's Head."

"No!" Hermione interrupted suddenly. "We just leaving!"

She gave a meaningful stink eye at Draco. "We just finished our lunch and were on our way out!"

"Fine," Draco replied through clenched teeth. "Weasley."

"Malfoy," Ron answered thru his teeth.

"Bye Holly, see you later!" "Later, Potter!"

Holly waved with a sigh, "Bye, guys!"

She took her seat at the both. It looked as if the waitress had cleared out Draco's and Hermione's plates, while her's was still there half-finished with a freshly filled glass of pumpkin juice. Holly was relieved to see Ron and Lavender moving into her booth.

"Hope you don't mind if we join you," Ron grumbled. "We can't exactly ..match the pompous arse-ness of the arsehole."

Holly rolled her eyes and Lavender sighed.

"There's no such word as "arse-ness", Ronnie," Lavender's eyes lit up in amusement.

"Are you sure about that though, Ron?" Holly asked dryly, with a slight grin.

Ron glared. "I don't need to take this."

Holly rolled her eyes again. "Don't get your knickers in a twist! I'm only joking."

"She was only joking, Won Won!..Sit tight, I didn't finish my make-up."

Lavender giggled before she slipped out of the booth again. She smoothed out her robes and re-adjusted her scarf. Both Ron and Holly watched as she walked back to the restroom before they turned back to each other.

"You better not have said anything to her face about.." Ron stopped in the middle of his comment, allowing his glare to say everything else.

"Really?" Holly asked incredulously. "Me?! Have you ever heard me insult anyone in Gryffindor before?!"

"Well," Ron grumbled. "No. And I better not hear anything in the future, either. I get enough shit from Ginny and I don't need anymore shit from anyone else in my family."

She flashed a toothy grin his way. "Aww, Ron, is this your way of saying that you think I'm apart of your family?"

Ron grunted and the wattage of her smile became brighter. The waitress had made her way back and began taking Ron's order. After she walked away they resumed their conversation.

"What have you been up to lately?" Holly asked, "Other than helping George with the shop."

"Ehh," Ron grimaced. "Nothing exciting. Planning a vacation with George. He's thinking he might want to see the rest of Europe."

Ron watched as Holly took a long pull from her glass of ice-cold pumpkin juice before he said lowly. "But I hear your activities have been quite exciting.. What with sleeping with Sirius all Summer Holidays and all.

Holly did a spit take, drawing the attention toward her.

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A/N: Oh, now more people are finding out. Who else is next? If you see any mistakes, and if you see any misspellings, please tell me! I'm working with a beta here! Thanks guys.


	5. Chapter Four: Ruined

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, favs and follows, guys! I'm really feeling the love from the Sirius/Fem!Harry shipper community with all the follows! We are a small community but boy do we love to read us some Sirius/Fem!Harry! This Fic is almost done. Just a couple more chapters. But don't worry I am planning sequels.

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Chapter Four

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The was a knowing sparkle in Ron's eye that Holly could have sworn was very reminiscent of Dumbledore's own knowing 'eye sparkle'. As soon as her pumpkin juice had spewed from her lips over the table, a passing waitress cleaned it quickly with a swish of her wand.

"Thanks," Ron smiled at the waitress, who blushed and moved along to other customers.

Holly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand with wide eyes. The youngest Weasley male was the last person she would have thought to know her secret relationship. Ex-relationship. Holly cringed.

"Who told you?" Holly asked in a rough whisper. "If George or Ginny told you I'm gunna -"

"No one told me!" Ron assured. "I found out on my own. Lets just say that someone should tell Remus and Sirius to check the room they decide to have a heated conversation in before they decide to start said heated conversation."

Holly gaped. "Wha-?"

Ron nodded. "I was in the toilet. If they would have come in a few seconds later they would have seen me get my naked arse out of bed to take a wee.-"

She them grimaced. "Too much information, Ronald."

"-Then to my surprise," Ron continued on. "As soon as I closed the door to the restroom, my bedroom door opened and those two muppets decided to barge in. I was about to walk out of the restroom and ask what the bloody hell was the big idea..but then I realised that I still had my man meat on display for the wizarding world to see-"

"Oh Merlin," Holly's slapped a hand over her mouth. She was feeling a little green at the unneccessary visual that Ron was giving to her.

"-So I decided to wait them out. And to my surprise, they began to row about you."

"Oh merlin," Holly repeated.

"Yep," Ron replied with a wry smile. "It was an interesting row, let me just say..Did he break up with you?"

Holly nodded, a frown marring her face. "Y-yeah. I uh..I think I'm still in shock."

"I'm sorry. I have to tell you though, if Remus were a sales man..I would have an igloo."

Holly gaped again. "An igloo? Like -like an Eskimo?"

"Yes." Ron deadpanned, "I'm not an Eskimo. That's how good he was at convincing Sirius to break up with you. And he fell for it like a niffler for dropped galleon."

She sighed. "I really don't want to talk about it. It-it just makes me a wee bit sick to my stomach thinking about it."

"I understand," Ron acquiesced. "I don't know what the bloody hell I would do with myself if Lav ever broke up with me."

"You must really love her," Holly said quietly. "I know that any other man would have just dropped the relationship altogether. Especially after what happened and her face. No offense meant, mate."

Holly watched as Ron began scratching at a water mark in the dark wood of the booth table. His face was blank and his bottom lip was between his teeth. For the first time that afternoon, she really looked at him. His dark red hair was tousled and he wore a maroon shirt under his black robes. For a redhead he was already pale, but he had bags under his eyes that lead her to believe that he was not getting as much sleep as he should.

"I do love her," Ron finally said. "But I thought about it. Don't get me wrong..I don't want you to think I'm some kind of arsehole who would drop a girl just cause some sadistic bastard a-attacked her and ..."

He bit down on his own fist. Holly could see his ears and cheeks reddening, not because he was embarrassed, but because he was holding back his anger. And his grief, Holly was coming to realise.

How could they, his family and she, not realise that the horrible tragedy that had befallen his girlfriend would not affect him? They should have noticed that something was wrong. But they weren't able to. How could they? Ron had acted his same old self, when all along he had bottled up his feelings.

"She was absolutely shattered," Ron breathed around his fist. "She wasn't the same again. I mean, obviously! Just take a look at her face. I aint no bloody saint, Holly. I thought about it. About leaving her in St Mungo's and just going home..But I couldn't. The way her face lit up every time I walked into her hospital room. The way she held my hand."

"You don't have to justify your thoughts to me, Ron," Holly assured, reaching over and squeezing the hand that was not in his mouth. "You love her. I'm not judging you, for Merlin's sake. I'm the last person who should."

"Sorry," Ron apologised. He looked sheepish. "I just..just needed to get it out. Theres no one who I can really talk to. I don't want to put any stress on George. Mum and Dad would just be..embarrasing. Ginny is a- uh.."

"Bitch," Holly offered, not sounding apologetic.

"Yeah," he nodded. "That and every time I tell her to lay off my girl she threatens me with a bat-bogey. There is something wrong with that girl."

Holly gave his hand a squeeze again. "Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to again, you can seek me out, Ron. What are family for, right?"

"What about me?"

They both froze in the booth as Lavender's soft voice washed over them. They turned to her simultaneously. Lavender's eyes were shiny and there were already tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Why can't you talk to me?"

Holly stood suddenly, fishing into her robes' pocket for a couple of galleons. She dropped a couple on the table before she made her way out of the door. There was no way that she was going to allow herself to be placed in the middle of that relationship drama. She had her own drama to deal with.

"This is my cue to leave," Holly muttered with wide eyes.

She quickly hurried down the cobble path toward the other shops. The crowd of Hogsmeade was sparse. There was less than a dozen witches and wizards walking about. No doubt they were residents. She knew that once the Hogsmeade visits were allowed the cobbled street would be teeming with students.

Above the shingled roofs of the few shops, the Towers of Hogwarts could be seen. Holly could already see Gryffindor Tower.

Holly smiled up at the tower. Her thoughts were filled with memories of the long trek up to the tower. The changing staircases, the trick step she always remembered to avoid..She was so deep into her thoughts that she had not seen the shaggy haired man who had stopped in her path until it was too late.

She gasped as she began to fall backwards. At the same time as she reached forward to grasp the tall man's shoulders, the man grasped her by the waist and steadied her.

"I am so sor-" Holly froze as she looked up into the grey eyes of Sirius Black.

Pushing away from him quickly, her gaze lowered to the cobbled street. She could feel the blood rushing her to her cheeks, her heart was beginning to beat faster and butterflies awakened as if by a hurricane. Normally, one would believe that it would have been in anticipation in seeing their lover or crush, and normally for Holly it would have been true, but now she was relating these feelings for negative reasons.

"What are you doing here?" Holly asked through clenched teeth, trying to keep her face as emotionless as possible.

Sirius stepped forward toward her, but Holly stepped back away from him. She noticed that his hands fisted immediately at her reaction.

"You weren't home," Sirius said softly. "I waited for you to come down for lunch but you never showed and when I asked about they said that you had gone. You and Hermione had just-"

"How could you think I was going to stay?!" Holly asked, finally looking up to meet his eyes. She was more than a little shocked, and angry to discover the depth of sadness in his watery grey eyes. How dare he be saddened! Especially since _he_ was the one to break up with _her_!

"You just tore my heart in two, Sirius!" she said, her voice becoming shrill. "It was only just this morning! You broke up with me and now what?! You're expecting everything to just _magically_ go back to the way things were _before_ we started our relationship?!"

Sirius was silent, his watery grey eyes glued to her face. Holly knew that no matter how hard she was trying, it was becoming impossible to keep her face from breaking. Her eyes were burning as they filled with tears.

"That's not going to happen.." Holly choked out through her tears. "There's no way we can ever go back to just being god-daughter and godfather..There's no spell to change this."

Sirius bit his lip as his eyes also filled with tears.

"I'm so sorry!" he whispered fiercely, his voice breaking in despair. "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"

She turned away from him, unable to look him in the eye anymore. Just the sight of his handsome face, tempting her..It was too much. Holly had stared passionately into those gorgeous eyes, the eyes she had seen communicate what she had thought was unbreakable love. She had tasted those lips and Sirius had in turn worshiped her body with those lips. Just the thought of never having that again with this man was inconceivable. The thought of never again having this man in her life as her lover, her life partner, as her future spouse..

"I can't," she answered, just as fiercely. "I can't!"

Holly prayed to the gods that the world crack open and swallow her whole. A life without Sirius..Was that a life worth living? She didn't know. She didn't even want to imagine it.

"You have to understand, please," Sirius said to her, beseechingly.

"Stop, please!" she begged of him.

"This is for your own good.."

"Stop!"

"This was wrong to begin with.."

"Please!"

"I promised your mother and father I would take care of you.."

"Stop. Talking!"

"But I don't think this is what they meant.."

"Please!" Holly begged. "Just stop! Leave me alone!"

"LEAVE HER ALONE!"

There was a red blur and then suddenly Sirius was no longer standing in front of her. Ron had appeared out of no where. Upon seeing a crying Holly, he had seen red. Like a bull his eyes pin-pointed to the man standing just a couple of feet in front of her. Ron had apparently tackled Sirius down to the cobbled street.

"Ron!" multiple voices yelled out.

Draco, Hermione and Lavender had also come out of no where. Draco dragged the red-haired young man off of Sirius. Ron struggled in his grasp, his face and ears as almost matching the same maroon color his Mrs. Weasley loved to use for his Christmas sweaters.

Hermione was immediately at Holly's side, pulling her into her arms. She allowed Holly to burrow into her embrace and sob away. Lavender raced to Ron and Draco. The girl placed her hands on her boyfriend's chest and looked pleadingly into his eyes. As soon as eye contact was made, Ron ceased his struggling.

"Gerroffme, Malfoy," Ron grumbled as he shrugged the Slytherin off of him to wrap his arms around his girlfriend. "I'm sorry, Lav."

"What the hell is going on here?!" Hermione hissed in question.

"You wanna know what's going on here?!" Ron shouted, drawing attention from the few passersby.

"This prick -" he pointed to Sirius who was still on his back. The older man was now glaring at the youngest Weasley male with a hand trying to staunch the flow of blood from his now broken nose. "Was making her cry!"

Hermione looked toward Lavender, who nodded.

"She was crying," Lavender verified with a sad nod. "We came out of the Broomsticks and Holly was crying, asking him to leave her alone and well..Ron happened."

"This is none of anyone's business but our own!" Sirius said angrily as he pushed himself up off of the ground.

"When a woman asks a man to leave her alone, Cousin," Draco spoke up with a frown. "Especially a crying woman..You leave her the fuck alone."

"Shut up, you little death eater!" Sirius spat out. "No one asked you!"

Draco reeled back in shock, looking as if he had been slapped.

"How dare you!" Hermione hissed. "You loathsome-"

"STOP IT!"

They were all silenced as Holly stumbled from Hermione's arms toward Sirius. With all her might, she shoved him away. Sirius stumbled back a couple of feet and caught himself before he once more ended on his back. They all stared at Holly, stunned at her physical actions.

"Leave!" Holly begged, new tears beginning to run down her reddened cheeks. "Just please leave me alone."

"I'm so sorry," Sirius apologized. "I never thought I would hurt you this way. I never thought it would hurt this much."

He took one last look at her and then disapparated(?) away with a loud bang. Holly fell apart again. She began to sob in earnest as she was held close by Hermione once more. The pain of what Sirius had done was so immense, it was so hard to breath. The butterflies in her stomach were now swirling so violently that she flew out of Hermione's arms and ran toward the nearest alley which was on the side of the Three broomsticks. She began to throw up the entire corned beef sandwich she had just eaten.

Hermione was by her side the whole way, grabbing her braided hair and holding it back.

"There, there," Hermione whispered softly. "Let it out. Just let it all out, Luv."

The only thing that Holly was able to whisper back was the only thing that she was able to think of in that moment.

"He ruined me," she whispered. "He ruined me."

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A/N: There you have it. It's shorter than the other chapters, but drama packed. Once again if there are any incorrect spellings, please tell me. I'm still operating without a beta at this moment. Ta!


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